INTENSIVES

(If you and your spouse are at odds or uncertain about the future of your marriage, check out the next FAQ to get a better understanding of what happens during the intensive.) Each day starts at 9:00 am and ends around 4 pm with a break for lunch. Instead of spending a great deal of time analyzing what caused your problems, we focus on solutions. No in-depth history-taking about the impact of childhood influences, no gut-wrenching expression of feelings for the mere sake of “getting it out,” just an concise exploration of your goals for our time together, your understanding about why you've been stuck, and what you both can do differently to heal your marriage and feel infinitely more joy and emotional and physical connection. After identifying your goals for our intensive, I will want to know if anything in particular happened recently that prompted your seeking help. In other words, "Why now?" If a recent crisis (such as the discovery of infidelity) is the reason you are reaching out, addressing this issue becomes our first priority. It goes without saying that there are often other relationship issues needing attention. The advantage of our 2 days together is that it offers ample time for me to provide a roadmap for healing from the current crisis as well as many suggestions for mending your marriage in other areas. Much of my coaching work is based on Solution-Focused Therapy- an evidenced-based therapy model practiced throughout the world. As a team member at the Solution Focused Brief Therapy Center, I helped develop this extraordinary way of helping people change. Unlike traditional therapy approaches, Solution-Focused Therapy emphasizes people’s strengths and resources in lieu of their shortcomings and is extremely goal-oriented. During the intensive, part of our time together will be focused on an in-depth relationship history which teases out potential explanations for the decrease in marital satisfaction over time. As we explore the key events in your lives that impacted on the quality of the relationship, you both will be able to reflect on your marriage from different perspectives. Also, I observed that countless couples in my practice simply aren't able to have constructive conversations about heated topics. Because I am convinced that couples need tools to deal with their inevitable differences, a portion of every 2-day intensive is spent learning the necessary down-to-earth relationship skills to stop fighting and start healing their relationships. Furthermore, beyond the generic problems that drive spouses apart, there are crises that jeopardize the very foundation of marriages… such as the discovery of an affair, midlife crises, sexual desire problems and so on. These topics have become my specialty. Readers of my book, Healing from Infidelity and viewers of my TEDx talk on the Sex-Starved Marriage have been traveling worldwide to work with me. Regardless of the problems you are experiencing, a 2-day intensive offers a crash course to jumpstart the healing process. At end of the intensive session, you will be given a written plan to take home in order to follow through with the commitments you made during the session. Also, since follow-up is important, you will be offered options to solidify and maintain the changes made during our time together which typically includes phone sessions, video sessions, future in-person sessions or connecting with local therapists. The results of the 2-day intensive format have been extremely impressive. Most couples experience major breakthroughs and report that the extended time period allows them to fully address their issues and leave with clarity about what they need to do to maintain these positive changes. Plus, for high profile couples or others who prefer extreme anonymity, seeking virtual help can add a layer of comfort.

Many couples find themselves at crossroads in terms of their levels of commitment to make their marriages work. Often, one spouse is seriously considering divorce, while the other is fully committed to working things out. If this is true for you and your spouse, the 2-day intensive offers the time you need to explore your feelings in-depth and make the best possible decision about your future, and if you have children, the future of your family. Keep in mind, that many people who initially reject the idea of a intensive because they are "done" trying, end up reconsidering and recommitting to their marriages as a result of our work together. That said, this isn't always the case. There are circumstances when people decide to part ways. Even so, both spouses find the intensive to be extremely valuable for several reasons. Our work together deepens your understanding about yourselves and each other. It encourages each person to accept personal responsibility for the problems that have occurred. Relationship problems are rarely solely one person's fault. When marriages end without this awareness, future problems are inevitable. The process I undertake to help people gain clarity about their own role in the breakdown of the relationship is the same whether spouses decide to remain married or divorce. Additionally, no matter what happens to your marriage, if you have children, you will always be co-parents and for that reason, you will always be in each other's lives. Divorce is challenging enough as it is, but it is downright tragic if anger, resentment and bitterness persist long after the divorce occurs. Disharmony among parents creates unhappiness in children, even adult children who are surprisingly affected by their parent's divorce. If separation or divorce turns out to be the only option, the intensive offers couples the opportunity to create a collaborative parenting plan that puts the kids' interests first. If you think your spouse simply won't do an intensive under any circumstances, I have two more suggestions- how you approach the idea of doing an intensive with your spouse can make a gigantic difference. I am happy to offer you some suggestions about the best way to discuss this. Feel free to email me at Michele@divorcebusting.com. And finally, you should consider doing a 1-day intensive by yourself. People find this experience to be extremely helpful because dealing with overwhelming marital problems alone can be extremely isolating and lonely.

I offer intensives both virtually and in-person. Many people opt to do their intensive online, which is just as effective as in-person intensives. If, for a variety of reasons, traveling to Boulder seems daunting, consider doing an intensive from the comfort of your home. On the other hand, some people prefer meeting with Michele in person. Intensives are held in Boulder, Colorado. Boulder, a magical place that is often ranked the #1 most livable city in the U.S., is nestled in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Denver International Airport is the closest airport to Boulder. It is approximately a 45 minute drive from the airport. Although most people opt to rent a car, there are shuttles available as well. The intensive is held in a comfortable and private meeting room in the St. Julien Hotel in downtown Boulder, near countless restaurants, shops and hiking/walking/biking trails. Since most couples choose to stay in this magnificent hotel, convening for the intensive is incredibly convenient. Countless couples express a desire to move to Boulder after their visit! Time permitting, couples typically extend their stays to explore Colorado’s natural wonders. There’s world-class skiing, hiking and fishing. For the less athletically inclined, enjoy our wonderful restaurants, shopping, festivals and people-watching.

Unlike many coaches who like to have a great deal of information about their clients in advance of their meeting, I prefer to start with a clean slate. That said, it does help to think concretely about your goals and how you will know when you return home, that the intensive had been helpful.

Frequently, I like to spend a portion of the intensive speaking with each partner alone. This affords each person the opportunity to discuss sensitive issues freely.

Most couples want to continue to work with me and do zoom sessions after the intensive to solidify the changes made during the intensive. Sessions are scheduled based on couples' needs, schedules and progress. I am committed to working together until you're completely confident that your changes have taken hold.

Cost of an in-person 2-day intensive: $12,000** Cost of an online 2-day intensive:$11,000 Cost of an in-person 1-day intensive when one spouse won't attend $6,500 Cost of an online 1-day intensive when one spouse won't attend $6,000 ** Occasionally there is a reduced fee for couples who are interested in having their session recorded and used for professional training purposes. Email michele@divorcebusting.com if you are interested in learning more about this opportunity.

Great! I very much look forward to working with you and helping you achieve your goals! Email me at Michele@divorcebusting.com and let me know when you'd ideally like to meet, and whether you prefer a virtual or in-person intensive. You will be given information about how to secure your preferred dates and plan for your session.

The work we’re doing together is coaching, not therapy. That means I won’t be diagnosing or treating mental health conditions. Instead, I’m here to help you move forward, reach your relationship goals, and navigate challenges with tools and strategies that are practical and action-oriented. Coaching is not a replacement for therapy, and if you ever feel like you need more in-depth mental health support, I will strongly encourage you to reach out to a licensed therapist in your area. By working with me in this coaching capacity, you're acknowledging that this is a non-therapeutic relationship focused on strengthening your marriage, not mental health treatment. If you have any questions about this distinction, I’m always happy to clarify!